When I was pregnant with my little one I had big plans for maternity leave. I heard and read that newborn babies sleep a lot so I thought, “Perfect time to finish the book I’m reading, practice photography, learn to edit photos, start this blog, AND keep up with the normal day to day chores!”
Reality check – new moms do not have extra time. Somewhere between figuring out breastfeeding, sleeping when possible, and remembering to feed myself, my days disappeared. It was a good day if I was able to put away the clean dishes my husband washed the night before and throw some dirty clothes in the wash.
Babies do sleep quite a bit, but you will need every precious second of that sleep time to take care of yourself – and that’s okay! My advice to you new or soon-to-be moms is to practice a little non-attachment and acceptance. Even if you’ve had a baby (or five!) before, the reality is that each little bundle has different needs and your needs will depend on his/hers. So drop the expectations. The next time you feel anxious about how messy the house is or start comparing your reality to Istamom’s newest post, take a deep breath. Acknowledge that having a newborn is freaking hard, and give yourself a break.
I get it, easier said than done. After Theia was born I felt guilty, like I wasn’t doing enough. She was nursing often, I was exhausted and my recovery from her birth was taking longer than I anticipated. There were several nights of tears. My poor, sweet husband, who I’m sure had his own shit to work through, was constantly reminding me that caring for our little girl was all that mattered. I was being too hard on myself. When I finally let go of what I thought I was “supposed to” be able to do, everyone, including baby, was a lot happier!
There are only two things anyone needs to worry about in the first weeks with a new baby.
- Is baby healthy?
- Is mamma healthy?
That’s it.
Focus your time and energy on your little one and yourself. As you recover and as you and baby figure each other out things will get easier. You’ll find some routine and learn to squeeze in part of the to-do list. One day you’ll be able to take a hot shower. For as long as you want. All by yourself.
Hang in there mamma!